Shane kicks my a$$

Can you tell from Shane's comments that he's been in the military? haha.
However, you can see that he has that soft gooey side that helps old women across the street, brings his lady flowers, and saves kittens stuck in trees. You can just tell. :)

On a different note...
Do you believe in the phrase, "Once a cheater, always a cheater."?
With holidays looming(sounds ominous, and like giants), the Musician and I are forced to deal slash cope, with extended family that in this past year has caused our relationship a great amount of pain. For those just tuning in...dot dot dot. I'm married to a cheater. Not the kind that slips himself 100 dollar bills during Monopoly! The kind that breaks your heart when he falls in love, with your best friend and attempts to ruin everyone's lives, kind of cheater.
(God, I'm feeling humorous.)
Most couples who choose to continue a relationship after one of the parties cheats, seldom suceed at remaining faithful to each other. It's a statistic.
I want nothing more than to prove that statistic wrong.
However, the last fiasco, which involved my best friend, and my husband created a turning point in how my husband behaves.
(It should be noted that the latest affair was just one stemming from a loooong line of affairs, statistically, my husband could just be tired of hiding his shit.)

Generally, after I found out that my husband cheated on me, I would confront him, he'd be sorry, I'd forgive him, not trust him, and make his life hell for however long it would take for me to feel justified that he'd suffered enough. Rinse, repeat.

This time, something clicked.
Lightbulbs and all went on.
He IS different.

Part of me thinks he's just switching up his MO.

Another part thinks he's just tired of this dance.

Another tiny part feels hope that he is going to love me more than he loves himself.

And usually, after an affair, he would leave whoever it was he was with in the dust.
I would say cruelly.
Mostly because the few brave souls that would call him at home, and get me instead were...really messed up from what he did.

But, this time. Ah sigh.
This time.
It was my best friend.
That hurts. Ouch.
(Can you tell I'm getting over it?! Feels good.)
However, like any insane story that involves my family, excluding a Jerry Springer appearance, We have my best friend's brother who is in love with my husband's sister.
Bam.
Instant family.

(Which by the way...it's so funny when I rub it in that eventually his ex-girlfriend will be his sister in law. It grosses him out. lol. )

So we must deal.
No, he deals.
I cope.

Holidays mean, plastic smiles and careful bitch, your gaze lingers too long...
Holidays mean, insecure belly aches, headaches and mistrust oozing out of my every pore.

What this really means is...once a cheater, always a cheater?
I think so.
I think it's still in him to cheat on me.
I can't keep him from it. How could I? The ball is in his court. His serve.
It comes down to trust.
Can I trust him?
One part says "No you stupid fool"
Another part, "Yeah, something is different."

The war!

A lot of this year has been spent repairing our relationship.
We are different.
Stronger.
But it only takes a straw to break the camel's back.

I didn't want to write a sad downer post about my trust issues.
I don't feel sad.
I feel strong.
In spite.
I can see victory on the horizon.
I chose to see it.