gaming is for n00bs
We bought a Wii.
That's a good sentence.
The Musician and I are what people call, "gamers". I have been playing video games for as long as I can remember. My first "gaming system" was an atari. lol.
The best part of my evenings is when the Musician comes home and we play a game. We get out our frustrations, and we talk.
I like that I can talk to him, even if we don't agree, we talk.
"I'm good at this one." Me, referring to Wii Sports, bowling game.
"Yeah? we'll see."
After a few minutes of bowling and practice games, he asks how my day was.
"It was alright. I still get so bored during the day sometimes. Sometimes I wish I wouldn't wait to go back to school."
"You can go back if you want. No one stops you, but you." He is a huge advocate for education. :)
"I know, I just think it can wait til' Baby JD is big enough for school herself." I bowl my 6th strike in a row and do my victory dance.
He never gets mad at my victory dances.
"Have you decided what you want to be when you grow up?" He smiles at me as he watches me bowl my tenth frame.
"Maybe a dentist. Maybe a programmer. Maybe an accountant. I don't know. What if I don't want to be anything?" I dance some more over my score of 260.
"No one stops you, but you. I've always said that."
"I know, if it's one thing you've always said...it's that." I laugh because he hates it when I reiterate what he's just said.
"You can be a pro smart ass. You're good at that." He pulls me in close.
We stand hugging for a few moments, then he breaks loose, "Hey, have you ever thought of being a writer?"
Argh.
Do you ever feel like you don't want to even attempt to do something because you know you'll just end up disappointed?
4 comments:
I've got thoughts on this, but before I let them fly, I want you to expound on your final sentence. Don't be cryptic. Break it down to me idiot style.
I guess it's that I'm afraid I'll fail. So I take it one step farther and not even try? I hate failing at anything.
My grandma used to always tell me that mistakes are what you make on your way to sucess, but I want to just...suceed. lol. No mistakes, no second tries, no failures.
Now fly.
I always feel exactly like that right before I try to do any plumbing. I just know it's not going to work out for me.
Electrical work is always a disappointment too.
I know, shocking.
I hate cliches, so I'm going to steer away from the "you'll never know til you try's" and "failing is never trying at all's", okay? Instead, I'll offer you a touch of tough love.
Stop being a baby and just do it for God's sake!
Kinda stings, I know, but it's the most direct way to get to what needs to be said.
Sure, we can attack this logically and rationalize all of the reasons why you need to go back to school NOW. I, being an employee of a college for the past four years, can give you all sorts of options to go back to school while having a young child, but the only way that will work is if you stop making excuses and get serious about this.
"...it can wait til Baby JD is big enough for school herself"? True. It CAN wait, but why? There's no reason. The longer you wait, the less competitive you're going to be in the workforce (don't be naive ... age does play a role). Fear of failure? Waa! Get over it. I'll tell you what's a failure ---> complaining about being bored all day, wanting to go back to school so that you can seize the world by the throat, but making excuses as to why you can't ... correction ... WON'T do it. Gimme a break!
You're no dummy. In fact, you're pretty gosh dang smart. You know how vital a formal education is if you want to do anything of value with your life ... on a professional level. You can see the big picture. You know what needs to be done. You know how to do it, but you won't. You know how frustrating that is for those of us that can see your potential go to waste? I say "go to waste" because that's exactly what's going to happen. Right now it's waiting on JD to get a bit older. Tomorrow it will be something else. You start with the excuses now, you're going to get stuck in this endless cycle of "I can't". Royally pisses me off if you want to know the truth. If you were here right now, I would grab you by your shoulders and shake the hell out of you (in a loving way ... because I'd have to give you a hug afterwards, of course).
Bottom line: chill with the excuses. You CAN start school right now. You know you can. The question now is this: is it that you can't start now or that you don't want to? If you don't want to, I'll leave you alone, but if you say you can't, I'm gonna kick your ass from Idaho to Texas and back.
I can totally understand the fear of failure thing. I think that's perfectly normal. The problem is, however, that you're letting that fear cripple you. Not only is that a failure in itself, but it's a weakness. You, my dear, have been through way too much in your life to have this pesky little weakness bring you to your knees. Suck it up, grab your jock (or female equivalent), and kick the living crap out of your school. Capeesh?
Post a Comment